Monday, April 27, 2009

What a long day, at work that is. Too busy! Now I am trying to get motivated to go to the grocery store. My week-end was hard, it was nice outside, but I had a collision at work with one of the Drs. and just knew it screwed up my back. So, I went to see my chiropractor and sure enough three places down my back and right side of my neck. I was so glad that she could see me right away, but it totally screwed up our plans for the week-end.

We wanted to walk on the beach, (no, because of my back), play golf, (no, because of my back), go for a nice car ride, (no, because of my back), you get the picture. It all came to a head and I totally fell apart when my husband said something to the effect that it was my fault. I mean I can sabotage myself when it comes to food and eating, but physically?? No way. I was really hurt. He just wants me to go to the gym and exercise and exercise, etc....My Dr. said no...He does not understand and it is really frustrating. So tomorrow I go for a follow up and hope that I get clearance. I do truly want to get my bike out and start riding. That is something that is just mine--he does not have a bike and I kind of want it to stay that way.

It seems that I did really well at getting to the gym and having long workouts and feeling good until he joined the gym and would try to tell me what to do, so now that I can get my bike out, it is something just for me. Is that cruel? I wonder why it bothers I jealous of his ability? Who knows.

So keep your fingers crossed.. Only a bit of pain left in my back, and it is supposed to hit 80 degrees..I hope I can enjoy it and not stay inside.

Monday, April 20, 2009

I had a great week-end, although not totally healthy, I got alot of exercise in at the beach with Brody my dog. He loves the water almost as much as I do, of course he can go in this time of year. We walked both Friday and Sunday and I went to the gym with hubby on Saturday.

My husband and I really connected and I felt good. He took me to a fabulous restaurant, and my choices were ok diet wise, but totally blew it on the drinks. I do love my alcohol!! So all and all it went well.

Now it was Monday and who likes Mondays, not me...But work was ok and the only screw up was black licorice and 1, only 1 Lintz (sp) chocolate ball. A huge salad for lunch and my usual fruit and protein for snacks. My sugar reading was a bit high for me though 176, usually it is around 100. So, of course I was dizzy for a few minutes. It did manage to get back down a couple of hours later. My husband had the day off because of Patriots Day and he cleaned the house and made a steak and broccoli dinner that was great. Just a sugar free popsicle for desert. After work I did manage to go to the gym for 40 minutes of cardio and 30 sit ups and 30 weight lifting with my arms with 10lbs in each hand and then stretching.

I consider this to be a successful day of taking care of myself and only hope that this feeling will be with me when I wake up tomorrow.

I am reading this book called Night Swimming--obviously the writter knows alot about being overweight!! You should check it out.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Yes, it is 11:2pm and I am going to blog. A big part of me said, "oh no it is too late and you are too drunk", but you know what I think, "it is the best time to blog". Except for all the typos I have to keep going back to.

I have an absolutely fantastic day. Got up, brought by coffee back to bed to read and enjoyed, (something I have not done in probable a year). Got up and dressed because I brought J to work to pick him up for dinner plans with friends at Margheritas.

Brought Brody to the dog park until I noticed that he was limping with one of his paws. Went home cleaned by car, had lunch and went to a local beach to walk the dog. I just happened to mention to an email friend that I would be at a local beach to walk my dog. My God, she was there. As it was that particular beach the dog walking ended 4/1/09, so my friend, who I was very surprised to see, told me about another beach done the road that was still dog friendly. I was shocked that she chose to come to meet me at beach, or at all, so I felt great. Then we went to the other beach and saw another friend with her boyfriend and two dogs and I felt that I was lucky for having two friends that I did not expect to see and yet it felt so natural to be there with them.

J and I went out tonight to meet other friends and had a good time. I always wonder why I don't remember all of the friends that I do have here away from my comfort zone who would always do something I would recommend? I think that they are too hesitant too. I hope that I can change that now that I see it.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Another Day in the Howe Hood

I guess I have to go back on my "mood med". Had a great nights sleep, woke up thinking I can make it a good day and make healthy eating choices. (Ha, Ha). Fought with hubby right off, (coffee ring on bathroom sink and toilet seat cover), says he has decided that we will spring clean this weekend and he will take care of it then!!!

OK, so that is how it started, I got in my car to go to work and came very close to just keep on trucking down 295 and straight out of town. I do want to do this anymore!!! But no, I went to work, got my right sided migraine, cried in the bathroom, but did not eat anything unhealthy! Even when a co-worker told me just how great the chocolate was and did I want a piece. Of course I wanted the whole bag, but I said no, as I ate my apple and lowfat cheddar cheese.

Then things got crazy, my head hurt, we had rude patients-- and oh LUNCH TIME. Yeah!! Instead of going to the break room to have my healthy lunch that I packed, out to Burger King I went. I don't even like Burger King, but for some reason it sounded good.

Went back to work had a good afternoon, migraine gone, time to go where "to the gym". UGH, but I said to myself I have to due to the gross lunch I ate. So I proudly did 40 minutes of cardio and came home to a pulled pork that I had in the crock pot all day. It came out just great and Jeff gave me a big hug and we both decided it was back on the "mood pill".

Oh well I am going to chalk this up as one of my ok days and hope that tomorrow will be a better, healthy day.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Fed up

I am new to this blog thing, but I see it works for my sister who blogs about things to help with her frustrations, happiness, fun and sharing. So here goes...

I am a 48 (soon to be 49) year old female who has lost struggle after struggle with fat!! I always do well and have even been going to a gym for two years now. How much weight have I lost? 35 lbs!! Yes that is it. I am proud of that, but for the last few weeks I have lost my desire for the gym, watching my food intake and just plain fed up.

I have a good life with a wonderful husband, (who has done fantastic at the gym, he did not need to lose any weight just wanted to buff up and he has succeeded, lucky him), a wheaton terrier that I love even though he can be a pain in the ass and a part time job that for the most part is pretty decent.

I went to a "Life Coach" for one whole year and found that it was very easy to lie to her. I despise lies, but never think of it as bad when it concerns diets. I have been diagnosed with diabetes that is controlled with meds and is actually very good, but not good enough to go off. I am also on several other meds that I am desperately trying to go off from.

I have had a great day, doing some typing for the doctors I work for and housekeeping, laundry walking with the dog, feeding the dog and prepping for a nice taco supper just to find out that my husband does not plan on being home too early, (he is going to the gym, I lied and told hime I went when I did not, I do it often). I get so fed up that I want to find something really good to eat, (not that we have anything in the house, but I do have a car and an ice cream shop around the corner), so I decided to give this a try instead.

I do actually feel better and have decided to have a huge glass of water and wait for hubby so that we can have a good supper.